Lonely Kanda
by AllenxKanda2
Summary: Yuu Kanda isn't comfortable with the way he is seen. Which is a cruel people hating demon. He is tearing himself to shreds on the inside until the day he goes back to school and meets a very unexpected savior. His name is Allen Walker.
1. Chapter 1

The Lonely Kanda

Kanda's POV

'My name is Yuu Kanda'...'My name is Yuu Kanda!' This is something I end up telling myself every single day. It's the same everywhere I go. Sometimes it hurts to look at the faces of the other people in Black Order University. Every time I do, all there is to see is fear or paralyzed bodies. To others I am known as "Kanda the Demon" or sometimes if you listen you would be able to hear people say "…away from him... he's scary!" If you saw me my face would show nothing if not anger or irritation. Honestly, though? I'm killing myself on the inside. I don't mean to come off as mean or angry. On the contrary actually, I want to be nice and happy all the time. It just doesn't work.

Walking to class on my first day back to school, I thought I saw some white hair but, pushed it out of my mind as an illusion. Just an illusion….

Classes have ended and since I was late to the entrance ceremony I have yet to meet my roommate. Thinking this was going to be fun - since the news of a first year being my dorm partner had already reached me – I hurried down to room fourteen.

There he stood. Just like an angel. In fact I'd be damned if he wasn't glowing! I mean… WHAT THE HELL!? With pale skin, deep grey eyes, and white hai- … white hair? Oh, that was what I saw this morning! At least that assures me that I'm not completely insane. As I continue to stare I noticed a scar on his left eye, and he is wearing gloves on his hands. He's slender. And short. Very. _It's kind of sexy…. _Wait what? Why did I think that just now?... WAAAYYYYY too long since I've been laid…..

Allen's POV

Allen was shocked. He had just been putting his clothes away when he heard the door practically break inwards! But that wasn't what shocked him, he had already heard all the rumors of Yuu Kanda his new roommate, but this is different. He is BEAUTIFUL. Like as in full grown female model beautiful! And he was staring right at the poor kid. Me. WHY? Normally it seriously pissed him off when people stared at him like he was some kind of freak show but this time he was just embarrassed. Almost bashful. He could almost feel the blood rush to his face. He just didn't know why. I mean, he knew he was gay but he never acted like _this_.

He wasn't sure but it felt like love at first sight….

**OK I know this is really short but this is just to see if people like where the plot is going if I can get some reviews saying it is good I will upload more. And they will be longer. So anyway this is my first story so please help me and tell me what I've done wrong so I can get better. I hope you enjoy and sorry again for the short chapter. **


	2. Chapter 2

**If you are reading this and have yet to read the first chapter for some reason, Kanda is totally OOC so if you like Kanda being an ass you won't like this. Oh and all of you who do like Kanda being the nice one you all deserve…. ICE CREAM! **** Hope you enjoy.**

**Two**

Allen

Wait… HUH? Had he really have just thought that? Ever since Mana died he was never even on terms with the meaning of the word! 'What is wrong with me today?' He thought something must be wrong so he looked around the room at things he could have confused with his glamorous roommate. In the bleak room there was nothing. Literally, nothing was there. He had hoped Kanda would have things to decorate with because he didn't have many belongings. And since he was the first one there all that filled the room were two twin beds, two identical desks, and of course a door. There were no bathrooms because this dorm had public baths in each hall. So all in all? It really was depressing.

Kanda

When I finally started paying attention I realized that I had stared…. And was that a…. _blush?_ Now he is looking around? Is he confused? And now he looks sad, what the fuck is up with this kid? Maybe he has a disability or something? I hope it's alright…..

"Um…Hey…" I was shocked at how shaky my voice was. 'What could be making me so nervous?'

Allen looked up, surprised. The raven haired boy was trying to understand why when he was reminded of a story he had once heard, "The Boy of a Million Faces".

"Hey you're my new roommate right? Yuu Kanda…" Kanda wasn't surprised to find that this boy knew his name. He had figured the rumors would make it all the way to the next school over so it wasn't news that the first years knew of him.

"Yeah, and your name is…?"

"Allen Walker," the angel boy announced. Hearing his voice for the second time, he realized that the kid was British. For some reason, that was unknown to the raven haired boy, he thought it was the cutest thing in the UNIVERSE! And if Kanda knew one thing about himself it was that he loves cute things.

Allen

He was going to die.

His heart was beating faster by the second. The only thing he wanted now was for Kanda to look away. Ever since he told the guy his name Kanda had started to look at him like a tasty snack and it was hard to keep his cool in a situation such as that.

"Kanda? Are you alright….? You look like you really need something to eat…." He silently begged Kanda to realize what he was doing so that he didn't have to express what he saw. And to his relief the senior did exactly that and changed the subject.

Kanda

"So, moyashi, do you need any help unpacking?" The kid sized freshmen froze.

"….What?"

"Do you need help unpacking?"

"No, no, _before_ that?"

"Moyashi?" _THAT _was it. And **that **is apparently off-limits.

"I MAY BE SHORT BUT I **AM NOT** A **BEAN SPROUT!**" By this Kanda was taken aback. He was a little upset with himself for having stepped on a mine on the first day he knew the kid but it soon was back to normal when the white-haired boy apologized and the face he made was absolutely adorable and too hard to resist so he had to turn away.

Allen 

Allen was mortified. He hadn't meant to blow up like that. "I'm sorry." 'Oh no, he's looking away. I offended him!' "Um…. Maybe I could help you unpack instead of you helping me?" 'Maybe this will make him forgive-' but his thoughts were interrupted by a very speedy answer.

"No." 'WHAT? That was fast…. Why?'

Kanda

'I can't be near him any longer. I'm gay but, a guy like that has to be as straight as a popsicle stick! I can't let him be tainted by me! I'm sure if I stay with him I will do something mean but I don't want that, not to him.' Kanda didn't have a clue where these feelings came from but he wasn't about to just ignore them. "No." He didn't look at the child's face because he knew already that all he would see was a devastated face.

He walked over to his boxes and silently unpacked his own while tearing himself apart again for hurting his beloved new roommate.

TBC

This one is short too but I should be able to update in less than 3 to 5 days. Well hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review! Thanks


	3. Chapter 3

Alright, this is chapter three I hope you all enjoy! And to a certain commenter…. Yes I know that I randomly changed from 1st to 3rd P.O.V. on Kanda. That was just a little experiment but, it didn't work to well so I'm going to only be using 3rd P.O.V. from now on. Thank you for pointing it out though.

Three

Kanda

'Finally, classes have ended.' He was exhausted! School was one of his least liked activities of the day. And seriously, HE GOT NO SLEEP LAST NIGHT. None. Zilch. It was his second day of school and he was just about ready to pass out. 'It's ironic how much an angel can torture you… Oh? Speak of the devil. Erg… Angel? '

"Hey Kanda what's up?" Everybody froze. In this tiny little hallway he had never expected to run into the kid here. And the people around him? They were scared shitless. Never in their lifetimes could they have been more afraid for their lives. No one EVER said 'Hi' to Kanda. At least not _that _Kanda. It was considered suicide, socially and literally. So you can imagine their surprise when he just turned and said:

"Hey, Kid." And that was the end of that. As him and the white-haired miracle walked away the people just stared at them in complete and utter shock. Kanda realized it wasn't that they were scared anymore, just baffled and reveled in the sensation of not being reflected in paralyzed eyes. For the first time in a while near his peers he felt the corners of his mouth twitch, but not in irritation, it twitched from an almost smile. Almost. _Almost, _because he knew they were still scared of him, just at the moment they were more shocked than anything else. And it was all thanks to his little angel. _'Mine,' _He thought. 'That sounds nice…. Wait! No, I promised not to dirty him! And in order to keep him clean I have to keep a safe distance.' He said that and felt damn near tears.

He had never wanted someone so completely. At least he never wanted anyone so emotionally. It was hard on him because he hadn't ever felt that and didn't know how to deal with it. Just like any other fifteen year old boy he had desperately felt the need for physical connection and pleasure. _That _was easy to deal with. All he had to do was walk up to willing lady, but this? This was different. He desired the touch of a certain individual on both a physical and psychological level. The certain individual that just happened to be off limits **ironically **had to be the only one he would accept. He was seventeen now and still never had this kind of feeling imbedded in him the way it was now.

"..nda? Kanda?..." Like waking from a dream the raven-haired boy was startled to hear the boys' voice. When he realized that he had been just standing there staring with a very sad expression on his face, he tried hard to pass it off as nothing.

"Huh? Oh... Umm… What were you saying?" It didn't work.

"…..I was saying that we should probably go shopping to decorate the room at least a little bit." Obviously the boy had picked up on his inner conflict but to Kanda's delight just shrugged it off. 'Whew.'

"Really? I thought the room looked fine though." Seeing as how the expression was that of pure and absolute amazement upon his little companions' features, he thought about it again. "Sure it's plain but throughout the year it'll be filled to the brink with stuff!" Ok now he was just being stubborn and he knew it too. But he wasn't about to let the faces of the bean-sprout deteriorate. No, he wanted to see them a little bit longer…. And then he snapped out of it. "But, sure why not? It'd be nice to have something to look at," _that isn't you, _"until we gain other things with more appeal."

"YAY! Ok then we should go tomorrow since it'll be Saturday and we both have that day off."

"All right. It's a date."

Hey! Thanks for reading chapter three of Lonely Kanda. And a huge thanks to all those lovely reviews! They are my motivation. Also I'm full aware that Allen had almost no part in this and I apologize to all of those Allen P.O.V. lover's. This time though, I wanted to manly focus on Kanda and his issues. Next time there will be a lot of Allen on their little 'date' though so don't worry. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Ok I know I said that I would do 3rd person only from the point that was said and on, but apparently I'm just going to alternate as I feel like doing so. If it happens to be a pet peeve of any ones I apologize in advance and personally do not recommend reading this. Thanks.

Four

Allen

The windows of the shops were beautiful. In fact he would have been perfectly content just window shopping the whole day but, as luck would have it, he didn't have that privilege. The reason was right next to him. Also it happened to be his fault that the reason was next to him. That reason was none other than the tall, raven-haired beauty, Kanda. While they had been walking Kanda did nothing but walk straight to their destination as quickly as he could. In all honesty, Allen was disappointed. He had thought this day was going to be fun what with him having Kanda all to himself and all. Sadly though, it looks like Kanda just wanted to get this over with…

It kind of made him sad. _He_ had been looking forward to this since the plan was made (So basically what was all of last night) and was hoping to talk to Kanda about school and other non-important stuff he could come up with. Though with all this fast-walking, it didn't look like talking made it onto their 'Stuff to Do Today' list this time. 'Maybe I should try to start a conversation? No, I'd just embarrass myself.' While coming to that conclusion he decided to keep quiet the rest of the way there.

**In the shop**

Kanda 

Walking here was pure torture. Enough said. Ok fine I'll elaborate….. Walking in tense silence next to _Allen _was torture. We didn't have any conversation nor did we even really walk beside each other. The fact that the bean sprouts legs are so short has proved a huge problem for his walking speed. Seeing as how I'm the natural height for a male seventeen year old, I apparently walk too fast. According to the perfect kid here to my right, that is the sad truth. Well, anyway, moving on… This shop is too big and too noisy!

Seriously, if I had the choice I'd leave right now! But I don't, considering the puppy that is dragging me here isn't exactly the dog out of the two of us.

Waking me from my thoughts I hear Allen speaking, "Hey where do you want to start?"

"I don't know, you tell me." I answer with a fake air of aloofness as always. 'I wonder, does he notice?'

"You know why I ask questions right? It's obvious that I ask so that I might receive an answer! But whatever, I'll decide."

Allen

There it is again. That shield is being held in front of his heart _again_. While walking I saw many observers speculating about the infamous Kanda walking with some unknown first year. He didn't act like he noticed them, or if he did he either doesn't care or that is the reason for the shield in the first place. Well in the end I don't think I should meddle.

I ended the conversation with a mutter of something about me looking at curtains while he looked at posters and other anonymous objects for the walls. Walking over to the aisle I saw some girls giggling and pointing at Kanda. For a reason that will not be disclosed, it pissed me off! I mean I know he's good-looking and all but that doesn't give those inadequate girls the right to fawn all over him!

While ignoring the giggling cohorts in the far off corner, I decided to do as promised and find some good curtain patterns for the room. However, I couldn't do much because of a strange feeling of a pair of eyes following my every move.

**Later**

After having picked out a nice blue and black striped pattern I started making my way over to Kanda but right when I started to call out to him "Kand-!" I was attacked from behind. The last thing I saw was my one and only roommate turning around as his beautiful face contorted into confusion, as well as fear, along with panic, finishing in rage. Then the final feeling of being stuffed in a bag and the world was black…

**I'm SOOOOO sorry it took so long to update but finally here it is…. Nice twist eh? Tell me how you like it if you can find the kindness in your soul. ;) Anywayyyy thanks for reading and let us pray I'm not so lazy in updating next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm so sorry. I know I deserve to die. But for now - Finally! - here is the next chappie. Don't hate me too much? ****Now a quick note.**** This is not going to be the main plot. Him getting kidnapped I mean. It plays in with the bringing them closer and it is going to reveal some of Allen's past, YAY! ****Note finished.**** Any way I know I haven't done this before but here it is….. Dumdumdum….. **_**The infamous….. Disclaimer!**_** (Yeah I'm weird. Get over it.) I do not own –man. If I did… hahaha… Kanda come here please… Now, kiss Allen. Yup right in front of the camera cuz this is now a Yullen anime! Anywhoooo here it is! **

**Five**

Kanda

The last I saw of him was his white hair being dragged out the back door of the tiny shop we had decided to enter an hour ago. It'd been ten minutes since my little angel was kidnapped, and I swear on my own grave if- no _when_ I catch the bastards who did this… They will wish that their dad was wearing a condom. Anyway let's leave that to later, right now I have to focus on keeping these guys in my sight. I know they know that I'm following them. For fucks sake they aren't even _trying _to hide.

While watching as my precious boy is stuffed in a bag I thought the culprits looked somewhat familiar. It pisses me off just because I think he got kidnapped for being near me. I don't know who they are yet exactly but, when I find out, and if they are related to me in any way, I might very well kill them.

Ok, so I haven't ever killed before… doesn't mean I can't start now. I've threatened people enough for them to now that I know how to perform the frowned-upon act of murder. It isn't like I have a family to worry about either. All there is, is Tiedoll. He isn't really my family, nor could I give less of a rat's ass about him! He's just… the dude who kept me prisoner for the first sixteen years of my life. No, he's definitely _not _my Dad.

Running to catch up with the perpetrators, I realized that I had gotten lost in thought and almost lost them. Soon enough they made a turn and I took a minute to see where exactly I- we- were being taken to.

It was strange, this place. None of it made any sense! Just a second ago I could swear that only a minute ago we were surrounded by traffic and crowds of people. Oddly enough though, nobody was here. Even the air was stale. The windows were broken, houses were falling in on themselves, the streets were dirty with paper floating around in the breeze and the place was more void of life than an abyss, like a different world all together. Like a dreary place in the back of your mind where only your worst experiences were kept.

In all honesty this place scared me. I'm not usually the type of person to get scared; I know where I've been so I feel no need to know where I'm going, it'll all work out in the end. Living by that has always made me ready for the future and prepared me to not be surprised or scared of it. Sometimes I feel as if knowing where I would end up would just make life even harder. I've always had to live hearing and seeing people be terrified of me so if I got to see the future as well I would have to carry the burden of not only the moment I'm in and the past, but the future as well. Having to bare it all on my own would be too hard; even I would break from the pressure. Hell, it already **was** too hard!

That is why I need Allen. He is my saving grace, the angel to take the pain away. He probably doesn't know that he does this, nor will I ever tell him. I won't tell him for two reasons: one, he would see my problems (although I'm sure he picks up on them a little now anyways) clearly and I would look weak. Kanda Yuu is not ever to be seen weak! Two, he would think it's his responsibility to help me and make sure I'm never in too much pain. He is just the type of person to think that it's his problem as soon as someone is leaning on him.

Thinking about Allen brought me to realty where he was still being carted away. I would never let them touch him. If it's me they want, they can have me. Getting to Allen was the stupidest thing they could've done. Finally paying attention again I noticed that they had stopped at a door, knocked five times saying something I was too far away to hear, and then gone in. 'Probably a passcode… Time to make a plan.' I thought.

Allen

I was still in the bag and my body was seriously cramping up. 'How long had it been since I was in the store?' I asked myself. I almost thought that I should ask the guys carrying me. After all with such poor transportation service the least they could give me was the time. My lips twitched into a smirk at the thought. Time. It never really _was_ on his side. Pushing my ramblings away I critiqued my situation seriously.

When being bagged I was hit quite harshly in the back of my head and fainted so putting my memories into order were the best thing I could think to do at the moment. I mean why not at least try to be productive right? First thing I remember was walking with Kanda to the store and then deciding jobs for us both. After figuring out choosing the pattern for our room I saw Kanda, waved, and tried to say his name, but was attacked after half of it. The rest of the memory is hazy, like seeing Kanda but not really. His face seemed to show too much emotion so whatever I saw was most likely a made up image for my over imaginative brain.

All of a sudden I hear a rather loud knock and cursed at how high-pitched it sounded. Was the assumed door made of metal? Surely not wood with the horrid sound it made. Then voices… and these voices sounded very familiar. Familiar as in gut churning terrible headache type familiar. Yes, he knew them well enough to recognize their voices through the bag. It was Tykki Mikk and Road Camelot, the two most seen faces of his horrible childhood, but what irked him wasn't the fact that _they_ were here it was the fact behind that. Them being here could only mean one thing, it did only mean one thing. _Him._ _He _was going to be here. The worst thing that could happen was finally happening_.' Cross has come home. And apparently he isn't done with me.' _

That was all I could think when I heard the clinking of a lock (heavy duty sounding if you ask me) on the other side of the- now confirmed- door. Along with the voice of the devil himself.

"Fucking get in here!" Words that only Cross would dare mutter to the two former Noah.

The Noah was a group of people who tried to overthrow the government. And Cross, on the other side of the boat, was a high ranking official – how he got to be who he is has always been a mystery to me – and didn't take kindly to being oppressed the way the Noah were oppressing them, or in any way at all really. So being the man that he is, he kicked back and wiped the Noah out completely. Save for Tykki and Road who realized Cross' power and betrayed the Noah, all members of the former terrorist group are now deceased.

Now, after hearing his voice, more unpleasant memories are piling up. When I was about six years old my father, Mana, died. Cross, yes _this _Cross was the man who found me and brought me back afterwards. Ever since then he has made me his 'apprentice' – which I just think is his excuse for making me call him 'master' – and raised me. If you can call what he did raising a child. More like a slave for his personal use. He went all around the world and collected more debts than one man can pay, even with his salary, and sent me to clean his messes. I remember one of the worst things I had to do was work at a stripper bar and dance on stage to earn the money to pay back the owner of said stripper bar. It was by far one of the easiest jobs I've ever had but at the same time it ranked highest in humiliation. Luckily though, the owner had a soft spot for me and she allowed me to never have to show my full body; I was only 14 after all.

"AHH!" Jolting me out of my thoughts I felt myself being thrown to the other side of the room and hit the concrete floor. Hard. I'm sure my shoulder was dislocated but all I could do was silently bite my tongue or I knew I'd just get it worse.

I hissed as my eyes met bright lights, I mean seriously I know you don't care about me but come _on_ have some compassion at least! As the lights faded in my eyes I met a face that I prayed every night to never see again. _'Thanks God you're making me into a strong believer… not._' Cross' face was smug. I hated when he looked smug. It never meant anything good.

"Hello Master. I never thought I'd see you again. What brings you to my humble city?" I said trying to hide my hostility as best I could.

But he knew me too well, "Yeah. Uh huh. Very convincing, your little performance there, though you should probably try acting classes if you want me to mean it when I say that. Also to answer your question, you… you bring me to your… _humble_ city."

I was shocked. Did he say he came to see me? Nope, I had to have misheard. Yep that must be it considering the fact that my senses were out what with being knocked out and all that. Laughing at my thought, I looked up and realized I made a mistake. Was that…. Hurt in his eyes? Yes, it was definitely there, the hurt that is. Though I have not the _slightest_ idea why.

"What's so funny brat?!" He practically screamed. I almost flinched but thought better of it as my eyes met his. I had long since stopped laughing.

"Sorry Master, I thought I heard you saying something impossible. I apologize but could you please repeat what you said?" I tensed, waiting for a hand to connect with my face. It never came though, so I looked up and saw raw sadness in his eyes. This is so weird! Why the bloody hell is he looking at me like that?! Hell if I'd know, he must be juiced.

"I said I came back for _you_. Don't make me repeat myself ever again Baka apprentice!" Ok now I'm just confused, is he sad or angry? Jeez Master just pick one already!

"Yes Master. May I ask why you came for me?" Maybe this'll get some sort of explanation.

He seemed to hesitate before answering me and then, "I'm giving you a choice. I have papers that say you will become disowned by me on your eighteenth birthday; all you have to do is turn the papers in at the state building. If you do that I will no longer have any rights over you and you will be free. Your other choice is to stay with-" But he didn't have time to answer as a raven haired boy had just burst in.

Kanda

My plan was to unlock the door and see what was happening, check if I knew the people and then when Allen was about to be put in any danger bust in and save the day! It sounded good to me but I hope it looks even better to Allen.

As I went to the door I heard yelling but couldn't quite make out the words that were said. Getting the lock to unlock was going to be difficult as I had only a little experience with this sort of thing.

After a little fiddling I heard Allen's voice and tried harder to unlock the door faster. I was about to go mad when finally I heard the tell-tale 'click' signaling the door unlocking. Slowly I peeked open the door just a crack to see Allen on his knees and one hand in a sort of sitting position. Soon Allen opened his mouth to speak:

"_Sorry Master, I thought I heard you saying something impossible. I apologize but could you please repeat what you said?"_ Wait… what? 'Master'? What the fuck is going on? Soon enough one of the men – who I now have confirmed that I don't know – started talking.

"_I said I came back for _you_. Don't make me repeat myself ever again Baka apprentice!"_ Apprentice? What? None of this makes any sense! From what I can understand this man owns Allen?! No… That can't be it… What kind of relationship does Allen have with this man? But my thoughts were interrupted as Allen spoke again.

"_Yes Master. May I ask why you came for me?"_ Again with the 'Master' thing! Bugs the fuck out of me!

Before the man spoke there seemed to be a silent moment between Allen and him, then, _"I'm giving you a choice. I have papers that say you will become disowned by me on your eighteenth birthday; all you have to do is turn the papers in at the state building. If you do that I will no longer have any rights over you and you will be free. Your other choice is to stay with"- _By now I had, had enough and bust through the door before I could hear anymore.

Allen

"….Kanda?" What was he doing here? Today has been one surprise after another and I don't know if I can keep up with it anymore.

"Uh… who? Mikk, Road! Were you being followed?!" Nobody spoke and Cross raised his voice to yell the next thing, "**Answer**!" Everyone flinched and eventually Tykki spoke.

"Yes, we knew we were being followed, but I didn't think it was someone important considering he lost us a couple times so we decided to play with him a little. We didn't think he would be stupid enough to meddle in a kidnapping once he knew what was happening." Tykki finished and Kanda was seething. Kidnapping? What the hell is going on?!

"Allen do you know who this kid is?" Cross asked in an authoritative voice. I was so shocked at the entrance of my roommate that I almost didn't answer him but then I was brought back.

"Yes, Master. He is my roommate from the school I now attend. I also think of him as a friend. We were shopping when I was knocked out and he most likely saw and came to save me. He was only thinking of my favor. Please don't punish him." I was trying to have the best manners while asking a favor from Cross there was no way he would say yes otherwise.

Cross stood, examining Kanda a little before speaking, "Your friend huh?" He spoke with a smirk; in fact all three of them had a smirk on their faces, Tykki, Road, and Cross. Something was weird, "Ok. He won't be punished. If he is your friend he should be fine with taking you and leaving. But you and I will talk some time later about this matter." With this a huge smile broke out on my face! Never had Cross been so generous! Right now I even feel like he is my real father and not a slave owner. But all that has to be too good to be true doesn't it?

Kanda 

"**Excuse me!**" I screamed. I can just be happy taking Allen home with me? No. I'm not in the mood! I have no fucking idea what is going on but I won't just play their doll and listen. "I don't think you people understand that I'm here. I don't know what's going on and I certainly don't understand why Allen is on the ground, _bowing_, and calling you 'Master'." The name rolled off my tongue with nothing but disgust. I was _this _close to grabbing Allen by the arm and making him stand up to this guy.

"Kanda… This man is Cross Marian. He is my benefactor and my Master. By benefactor I mean he is my adopted Father and by Master I mean I'm his apprentice. I would be happy if you didn't disrespect him." But even as Allen said those words I could see the pleading in his eyes and the smirk on Cross' face. I shut up.

Cross

I listened to Allen say that and knew that the brat would still do anything for me. It made me happy that I trained him so well but it also made me sad because of the pleading look in his eyes, as if he was just saying that to please me and move on with his life. It hurt just a little. But then again Allen had a friend so maybe letting him go won't be so bad… Someone will watch over him. Although Tykki might be sad to say goodbye as he has loved Allen for a long part of his life.

"Ok kids. You should be going home soon and I have a plane to catch. I'll come back to discuss this matter soon. Bye." And with that I made my exit.

After Going Home

Kanda looked to me with a questioning glare. I was so tired so all I could reply with was, "I'll explain _after_ I sleep." Kanda looked like he understood so I laid down and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

**YAY! I'm updating! Regularly! Now this is chapter six and I want to say sorry I haven't been replying to reviews. So... Sorry. Well I will start replying to your reviews on every chapter instead of in PM so I hope you don't mind that. So here they are:**

**ToktelasAndTea: Yes! It is a sack of bean sprout! I hadn't ever thought of it like that but it is adorable!**

**WithoutWingsX: Who else?! lol**

**mitsuyo-chan: Wouldn't he? But then Mana would have to be booted as Allen's roots so… AHA! Cross and Mana adopting together…. How is **_**that**_**?! Personally, I would love to see that! **

**Thank you all for reviewing and sorry I haven't replied until now! **

Six

**Allen**

When I woke up the first thing I noticed was a raven-haired teen leaning over me and waiting for me to answer the question from last night. Sighing and thinking about what I was going to tell him seemed to be all I could do. My life with Cross is complicated. And in order to explain our current situation I'd have to start at the beginning. At _that_ time. When Mana died… No. I can't go into that right now.

As I got up to change my clothes I tried my best to ignore the fact that Kanda was still staring… Waiting to be let in. But of course, my explanation would be ok at best if I tried to tell him right now. I had to get my thoughts straight. I had to figure out a way to explain Cross to Kanda without stumbling upon landmines. Landmines that go by the name of 'Topic of Mana's Death'. It would hurt too much to bring him up in casual conversation.

In my dreams he still haunted me. Blaming me for what happened. Sadly though, when the dream gets to the part where Mana says, "It's not your fault!"…. Ok let's face it. I know he never said that. But sometimes I wish my nightmares would turn to dreams and Mana would forgive me. However, my mind will only repeat my memories, not what I want it to show me.

But that doesn't matter. My past is my past and I don't need to continue living in it. I have a friend here at school and I feel it's going to be ok if I make even more. Life is going to be good here. I know it.

When realizing what I just thought my whole body erupted in laughter! It was way too weird for me to think this way! Wasn't it? I needed to get into some danger before all my training just left me completely. I am totally not guarded. It is something I haven't felt in a while, safety. And I have already found out that I don't like it. It's eerie! Being comfortable around others and in public all your life I can understand, but _me_ who has lived in danger all my life and having to pay someone else's debts since I was 7? No, I shouldn't have this '_comfortable_' feeling that others are permitted.

By now I realized what I looked like to anybody watching, a.k.a. Kanda. Yes to him I was spazzing out in that way everybody does when they are finally admitted. And by that I mean to a place with all white walls… But that isn't the point. The point is I looked _insane_. I normally don't really care if anybody thinks I'm crazy but Kanda wasn't just _anybody._ Kanda was…well that is something I never thought about. What is Kanda to me? Ever since I met him I've known I was sincerely attracted to him but what does that make him? A love interest? No, because it'll never happen. But if not a lover what do I want and think he could become? To me I mean. Really, if I think about it, I have no clue.

I love Kanda. I know that I do and I am not ashamed of my feelings, but even so I know that it'll never work, and if being his friend, or dorm mate, or just someone that he will say 'Hi' to when I say it to him is all I can be… Living with that fact is the only solution. It is too much to ask that he love me back… isn't it?

Enough! I've had enough. Enough brooding that is. I'm done with this atmosphere. If he wants an explanation he will just have to wait until I've got things under control. Grabbing my clothes decidedly set me in motion again and soon enough I was in the bathroom changing.

**Kanda**

I was pissed.

I watch as the moyashi gets up from bed. No words are spoken but as I look at him I know he got the message. But the message I received from him was what set me off. I could tell by the way he ignored me that I was getting no explanation for the previous night's events. Though I can't say I didn't expect it. After a horrible dream about reasons _why_ Allen would call that guy '_Master_', and let's just say it was nothing innocent, I stayed up all night. I couldn't sleep through the fear of seeing Allen and that man, Cross I think it was, doing perverted things that I could have gone my whole life without seeing – or _hearing_ for that matter! So if that was the case then I can understand that Allen might not want to share him and Cross' private life. But either way… I was still going to find out.

Without any warning I hear a vicious laugh coming from the very topic of my thoughts. Maybe not so vicious as much as fucking hysterical… Either way it was fucking creepy as fuck. Did I mention I'm pissed?

He is standing there laughing like a mad man while I'm stuck with my thoughts waiting for an explanation that will never come. There is no way I'm letting him go the whole day without bothering him about it though. '_Ohhh no, little Allen. If you want to keep from telling me what's going on I'll just stay with you and force you to tell me.'_ A little psychological torture every now and again isn't too horrible is it? Nah, he'll be fine I'm sure.

I thought this with a smirk as Allen walked into the bathroom and I walked to my bed to wait for him to come out. Considering my already dressed state, all which needed to be done was wait for the angel to start his day. Then there would be hell to pay.

Later That Day

"Please go away!" Allen practically screamed. I laughed at how unruly he looked. His usual sharp demeanor was falling apart. I imagined him in his school uniform, what he would look like right now. His tie would be undone instead of his usual bow, his jacket would most likely be off his shoulders and resting on his left arm to cover the space no one has seen, and his right glove lying on top of it. It amused me to end! Allen, _the definition_ of perfect, so unseemly! There was no better way to spend a day trying to get what I want. At least I'm having fun while going out of my way to get answers from this boy.

…Though I say that a little part of me feels guilty, and a smidge scared. I'm guilty for causing him to be so frustrated, and scared that he'll be extremely mad at me if I push him too far. Although I can't say that I'm not enjoying the cute pouting face my little angel puts on every now and then. It's more than just a little adorable.

**Allen**

Oh my God. I swear to you with all of my being that if you don't help me get rid of this guy… I'll… I'll… I'll stop believing in you! I will! I will do it! This is just too much. There is no way I can keep up with Kanda's pace. I'm trying to think about what to say to him and how to explain Cross when POOF there he is. If he keeps up like this I'm not sure he will ever get an explanation.

And it's not even the fact that it's annoying what it really is, is plain and utterly embarrassing. He stands over my shoulder and I can feel his smirk. It's in the air around him; honestly I don't even have to look. I know that twisted smile will be there.

Also his proximity is suffocation in and of itself. He is the figure of my imagination. The guy that I wish to hold me with all my heart and… He's ruining it. R – U – I – N – I – N – G it. I swear I can't get my head out of the gutter. Every time the raven-haired shows up right next to my ear I feel like I'm being lifted into clouds and I can't _think _straight. Think was the one thing I _really _needed to do right now, and it is impossible to do because of his constant…being there-ness!

All day he followed me around the dorms. I was trying to get to the class rep, a girl named Miranda, to see if she had the notes from 5th period History. I hadn't slept on Tuesday due to homework I had to do for this week – I like to finish things early so I wouldn't have to worry about assignments being in at last minute – so my eyes wouldn't stay open the entirety of the time. But when I finally caught her Kanda came and attached me to his side so that everyone around would scatter. Including Miss Miranda.

Also at school, no less than twenty minutes later. I had to go around memorizing classes and names of teachers as well as find club rooms and the library and other things. It had only been a week of school and I was _trying_ to get back in the swing of what others deem to be the worst half of the year. But of course… He showed up. He came around and this time instead of scaring others away he made me so mad that I had to leave the grounds.

Then, when I _finally_ thought I had the chance to be alone for an hour or two in the town next to school, I decided to shop. Get a few things like maybe a mini-fridge, and some foods to go in it. It was nice. There was no Kanda, no scared people, and it was most definitely a peaceful day. I picked up a few things, some carrots, ice-cream, soda, and other lunch meals that can be prepared in the micro-wave such as hot pockets. But then my peaceful day was shattered when Kanda showed up for the third time that day. He looked smug and I got sick of seeing his face.

So as soon as I saw him again, I ran. I'm not ashamed at my actions, though I might be a little guilty, because he had it coming! He has following me around all day and all I wanted was to find a peaceful spot to be alone. I had to think and being around him was driving me to a corner. It reminded me of the activities from yesterday and those remind me of explaining to Kanda why and what happened when that thought brings up Mana. It was an endless cycle of things I didn't want to get into.

There was no way I was just going to sit back and take it all. I was done just excepting things. I was going to have my way and if that meant running away for a little while, I could care less about my pride. I was going to find a quiet place before my mind went any further down the path of self-destruction.

**Meh. It sucked to me, but next time you will get to see the hiding place he finds, there will be a new character, and you will find out just how Allen explains it all.**

**Ok so, I am going to give you the choice of who you want to show up. Mind you this person will be the one who finds Allen in his little hiding place and gives him advice. So here goes… if you want someone out of these three to show up in the next chapter, please leave a review to tell me which one. **

**Tykki**

**Lavi **

**Lenalee **

**Whoever gets the most votes wins! Have fun!**


End file.
